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Angry Couple From Unsplash

(Photo Credit: Everton Vila From Unsplash)

Have you started to realize that something isn’t right in your relationship? You can’t quite figure it out but you know this relationship isn’t like others before and you just can’t put your finger on it.

Is it at the point where you worry occasionally have thoughts about your personal safety, whether or not there has been any violence in the past?  Is there a nagging suspicion that the man you love might not be safe to be around?

While these are big issues that may require the help of counseling, legal help and law enforcement, you may be considering the purchase of a gun, while you try to “work things out” or o use in “an emergency” while try to extricate yourself from a situation. Concealed carry permits among women continue to skyrocket across the United States. And the reasons isn’t always due to stranger danger, as most people assume.

There are early warning signs that your significant other could have anger or control issues. Here are five clues to look for:

Isolates You from Family and Friends

Your significant other wants you to spend time only with him. At first you might find this endearing (he loves me so much he doesn’t want me to ever be away from him).  Eventually you see it for what it is: he wants to control every part of you and keep outside influences away, so that he can have complete control.


Sometimes the criticism isn’t obvious. Perhaps it is subtle I’m surprised you knew the answer to that since you didn’t go to college like I did, or more blatant like “You are a bad cook and bad at keeping house. You’re bad at everything you try.”  Either way, the intent is to bring you down and create low self-esteem.

Blaming You

Noticing how EVERYTHING is your fault?  The store is out of his favorite (fill in the blank).  It’s your fault. It’s raining this weekend so he can’t play golf. It’s your fault because you should have been checking the forecast for him.  His bills didn’t get paid on time this month. Well didn’t you know you’re supposed to remind him to do it?  That’s your fault too.

Unwarranted Anger

Road rage, rudeness to wait staff at restaurants, mistreatment of co-workers. All of these can be signs of a budding problem.  If you aren’t the target yet, you likely will be soon.

Escalating Violence

It might start with a small shove during an argument. Of if you’re fighting while he’s driving the car, he may slam on the brakes or drive erratically to try to scare you.  At this point, you should be making plans to end this relationship for good.  If you’re buying a handgun for self-protection, make sure you learn how to use it.  Buy a concealed carry purse and keep your weapon with you. It’s probably a good idea that your (soon to be ex) boyfriend doesn’t know about your gun purchase.

When you start to see these signs, it’s time to move on.  Life’s too short to live this way.

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